Top 10 Things Napoleon Dynamite Has To Say About America

July 22, 2008 by Stephen Palmer 

Turns out that Napoleon Dynamite is quite the educated man and patriot and he has a lot to say about the state of America. He also has a flippin’ eloquent way of expressing his sweet views. Enjoy!

napoleondynamite1 Top 10 Things Napoleon Dynamite Has To Say About America10. “America used to have sweet skills, like manufacturing and production skills, freedom skills, virtue skills…but now we have like a buttload of problems and that’s why our dollar isn’t hardly worth anything. Investors only want countries with sweet skills. We’re freakin’ IDIOTS!”

9. “Neo-cons have pretty much the worst foreign policy EVER. Those guys are retarded!”

8. “Pretty much all anyone has to do to get elected anymore is to tell the people that if they vote for them all of their wildest dreams will come true. The people don’t want to do flipping anything for themselves!”

7. “What the heck are judges and legislators doing to homeschoolers — trying to ruin everyone’s lives and make them look like freakin’ idiots?”

6. “I turned out so good ’cause I have a sweet family. Everyone would have more of a killer time if we took better care of the family.”

5. “Can you ask my grandma to bring me some money? My bank account hurts real bad from all this flippin’ inflation! I asked the Secretary of the Treasury and the Chairman of the Federal Reserve for help but they don’t know anything.”

4. “The day we passed the 17th Amendment was pretty much the worst day of America’s life, what do you think?! GOSH! Where were all the smart legislators that day — staying home and eating all the flippin’ chips?”

3. “My favorite form of government is a constitutional republic. It’s like a monarchy, aristocracy, and democracy mixed…bred for its skills and checks and balances. Democracy is the worst form of government EVER!”

2. “I’d vote for Pedro before any of the decroded piece of crap candidates we have right now.”

And the number one thing that Napoleon Dynamite has to say about America is…

1. “The People just called and said the Federal Reserve should go back to where it came from. They say they don’t want it here when they get back because it’s been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all their steak!”

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Filed under: America, Culture, Economics, Family, Liberty, Monetary Policy, Rights & Duties
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Comments

4 Responses to “Top 10 Things Napoleon Dynamite Has To Say About America”

  1. Kim Palmer on July 23rd, 2008 9:35 pm

    OK, so this is pretty much the sweetest blog post in the history of llamas! We all need to quit being intellectual fat lards! Love the blog post - emailed it to several people.

  2. KD Gardner on July 25th, 2008 2:28 pm

    I want Ronald Reagan back. I’d vote for a Dang Kay-Sa-Dilla before I’d vote For Barac OBOMINATION! I wish he’d go find his gramma or somethin’ GOSH

  3. Moses on July 25th, 2008 2:30 pm

    Let My People GO! Oh, and hey Nancy Pelosi! Come eat some Ham ya fat Lard!

  4. Mike Wilson on July 31st, 2008 9:36 pm

    There is a freakin’ worse form of government than DEMOCRACY and that’s OLIGARCHY. Gosh, that looks exactly what we have right now!! Pedro (or Joe or any regular guy or girl) is totally better than our choices today. And he’s pretty much incorruptible!!

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